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What you say to yourself MATTERS

Updated: Aug 25

woman giving herself a high five in the mirror

Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." YOU are in control of your thoughts and the best way to get your thoughts to be nice to you is using positive self-talk. Here are 3 thoughts on why what you say to yourself MATTERS⬇️

Default Mode Network (DMN), distanced self-talk + be your own bestie

Default Mode Network

The DMN is the way the human brain uses itself automatically to:

  • Remember everything it needs for social interaction

  • Review what we and others have said + done, or not said + done

  • Integrate new experiences

  • Be creative

The DMN is universal in all humans, and it starts up immediately, as soon as we stop focusing on externals.* *Excerpt from Your Resonant Self, Sarah Peyton This voice in your head can be an actual voice or a feeling, but it's there and speaking to you. I challenge you to listen to it this week, notice what it's telling you, and how it's shaping your thoughts. Recognize that voice and when it's being a jerk. As you get better at noticing the voice of your Default Mode Network, you can begin to change it from savage to loving.

Distanced self-talk

When you're trying to work through a difficult experience, use your name and the second person, “you” to refer to yourself.* This can help move you away from rumination mode and toward action. I love to catch myself ruminating and start a little mental pep-talk: “Let's go, Maureen. You can do this. What's the worst thing that can happen to you? What's the best thing? Let's gooooooo Mo!*Excerpt from Chatter, Ethan Kross

Be your own bestie

Imagine your best friend told you she's struggling with drinking and is going to try and take a 30-day break from alcohol. Let's say she gets to day 10 and then slips and has a glass of wine while out to dinner. Here's what you would NOT say, “You suck! You're weak. You said you wouldn't drink for 30 days and you only made it to day 10. What's wrong with you?” Here's what you WOULD say, “It's ok. Rome wasn't built in a day. It's just a slip. Keep going! I admire you for doing this.” Now imagine you're your own best friend and can speak to yourself that way. Mind-blowing, right? AND possible with practice!

What does this all have to do with sobriety? You have so much power and potential in the way you speak to yourself. You are your own BEST resource in your desire to live an alcohol-free life. Practice listening to how you speak to yourself. Maybe you can be a little bit kinder. 💗

Interested in more thoughts and resources for the sober curious + sober serious?

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